Dating, doing it or even thinking about it, can arouse paralyzing anxiety in a lot of people. Take comfort in knowing that the dating world, digital or otherwise, is a nerve-wracking arena for everyone, and it can negatively impact you whether you’re young, old, male, female, gay, straight, bisexual, or transgender. In other words, dating anxiety is a very real and all pervasive human dilemma. To do it or not to do it? That’s the million dollar question. If you give into your fears and don’t date, well, you can pretty much expect to spend your entire life alone. For many people, that’s not an option. So what is a terrified, angst-filled dating-phobic supposed to do? Courage — muster up courage and get out there and slay the dating drama and trauma dragon. Perhaps, you just need a few simple tricks to make the whole-dreaded dating game a little less daunting.
6 Ways to Combat Dating Anxiety
1. Be Kind Knowing that Most People Experience Dating Jitters
Most people are just as uptight and unglued about dating as you are; so don’t just think about yourself. Think about the other person and how nervous he or she might be and do your best to make this person feel at ease. Leave your judgments at home. Find something nice to say.
2. Bring Your Sense of Humor and Roll with the Punches
Try not to look at every date as an execution, as if your very life depended on the outcome being good. Tell yourself that your dating experiences are an adventure, learn from them, and enjoy the ride. Get over yourself and don’t take everything your date says to heart.
3. Keep the Faith and Maintain a Positive Attitude
Of course you’re nervous about dating. Human beings are hardwired to proceed with caution in unknown situations, and particularly in situations where they could get hurt. With that said, approach dating with a positive mindset, which will set the Law of Attraction in motion, and help bring about a positive outcome to your dating experiences.
4. Take the Focus Off of You and Focus on Your Date
Ask relevant questions that will get your date engaged in conversation. Most people love to talk about themselves and when you allow them to do this, they somehow end up thinking that you were a really interesting person. When you’re asked a question, try not to worry so much about what he or she will think about you; rather concentrate on being yourself, the real you. If you find yourself all tongue tied and anxious, tell your date that you experience a lot of anxiety on dates. It’s always best to talk about the “pink elephant in the room.” Most people will share they’re similar feelings or try to be understanding and reassuring.
5. Take Some Time to Look Your Best Before You Leave the House, and Then Forget About It
We all feel more confident when we think that we look our best, so take a little extra time getting ready and pick your outfit carefully. You should look and feel good in it. If your clothes are too tight or hard to move around in, you will come across looking uptight. Whatever you do, stop obsessing about the way you look, or you’ll come across looking vain and superficial.
6. If the Date Didn’t Go Well, Don’t Take it to Heart
If you honestly tried your best, but the two of you just weren’t a good match, accept that, and move on. The saddest part about dating is sometimes a date can go great, and you felt an instant connection with that person, and yet, he or she ghosts you, disappears from your life, leaving you devastated. I have to tell my clients to take comfort in knowing that this person isn’t rejecting you, he or she is rejecting the higher love you are offering.
Cindi Sansone-Braff, The Romance Whisperer, talks to the dead to show you how to live well and love better. She is an award-winning playwright and has a BFA in theatre from the University of Connecticut. She is the author of Grant Me a Higher Love and Why Good People Can’t Leave Bad Relationships. Free excerpts of these books are available on Amazon. WholeJoy.com in association with Amazon has cited Grant Me a Higher Love as one of the greatest texts on the law of love. Cindi is a featured Dating Expert on one of the largest dating sites in the UK: Older-Dating.Co.UK. She has been featured as a Relationship Expert in: the Huffington Post, MSN.com, YourTango, Bustle.Com, the Inquisitir News, Brides, About.com Dating, and the Deseret News. She is a Star Patcher for East Hampton Patch and a Featured Member of Blogher. Call-in or listen every Thursday night, 7:00 pm EST, to her radio show, where you can get free psychic and relationship advice: www.blogtalkradio.com/higher-love. Be sure to check out her web site at: www.grantmeahigherlove.com. She was named Best Psychic five years in a row by the Long Island Press, recommended by Newsday as one of the best psychic/mediums on Long Island, featured in the Daily News and Cablevision’s Neighborhood Journal. Visit her Facebook Page: Why Good People Can’t Leave Bad Relationship, which has 28,000 followers.