On my recent visit to Rome, I gazed in awe at two yogis practicing mind over matter. They remained motionless for what seemed to be forever, as one man sat perched on a pole doing the Lotus asana, while another man, using only one arm, balanced him — mid-air.The task seemed impossible to perform, and yet they appeared to do it effortlessly.

A moment later, I saw four men, costumed to look headless, entertaining the crowds. I had to laugh, thinking how many times we lose our minds over nothing, and, when we feel stressed, run around like chickens without our heads.

Could we all benefit from some form of meditation that helped us to be more in control of our bodies and minds? Can we train ourselves to remain cool, calm, and collected, when the going gets tough? Could we learn to master the law of attraction to help us manifest the life we want?

Thanks to Oprah and the enormous success of Rhonda Byrne’s book “The Secret,” the law of attraction has become a household phrase. Even though that bestselling book presented a rather over-simplified, slick, watered-down version of the spiritual law of attraction, it did serve a worthy purpose by introducing this important concept to the masses in an easy-to-swallow formula.

The law of attraction basically boils down to the fact that our feelings and thoughts are a form of energy that vibrate either positively or negatively, and draw or attract people, things, or circumstances that vibrate at a current that is the same or similar in nature. In a nutshell, when we are in a positive state of mind, the Lord giveth, and when we are in a negative state of mind — the Lord taketh away.

There are many times in life when we need to exercise mind over matter and practice the magic of believing. Listed below are seven situations where a positive mindset can help us manifest a positive outcome.

1)When we need to lose weight.

2)When we need to end a toxic relationship.

3)When we need to kick a bad habit or addiction.

4)We we need to beat a major illness.

5)When we need to practice tough love.

6)When we are learning something new.

7)When we lose or start a job.

In general, anytime we are facing major life changes, whether they are good changes that we are making for ourselves, such as: getting married or having a baby; or changes that life thrusts at us without a moments notice, such as: the unexpected death of a loved one or a natural or unnatural disaster, we are asked to practice the art of positive thinking.

By facing change with a sense of courage and visualizing a positive outcome, we allow the law of attraction to operate correctly. The law of attraction will bring people and events into our lives that will help us in our journey. Negative thoughts, the long list of dreaded “what if this and what if that goes wrong scenarios,” and the endless, hindsight quarterbacking “if only I did this” or “if only I did that”sabotage the law of attraction.

Today is as good a day as any to start practicing the art of positive thinking and mind over matter, and watch your life take a turn for the better. Imagine the possibilities!

Peace.
Cindi

Join us for a Workshop and Readings with renowned Psychic/Medium Cindi Sansone-Braff *“The Romance Whisperer”  “Manifesting & Keeping a Soul Mate Relationship”   Wednesday, May 22, 2013 7:00-9:30 Centerport, NY (address will be supply upon registration) $25 (before April 25, 2013) $30 (after April 25, 2013)   Purchase Tickets & Before April 25 $25.00 USD After April 25 $30.00 USD 20 participants limit, reserve early! Do you tend to get involved with “Commitment-Phobes”? Are you a “Closet Commitment-Phobe”? Is it possible, there are blocks that keep you from having the relationship you desire? How do you tell if someone is your Soul Mate? Is a new Soul Mate coming into your life soon and how can you prepare to make the union successful? All are welcome; however, this evening will be of special interest to single-women. These are just some of the questions Cindi will address in random audience readings and as she discusses “Scaling the Ladder of Love”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .     Cindi is the author of the book ” Grant Me a Higher Love” Going from a Relationship from Hell to One that is Heaven Sent by Scaling the Ladder of Love” http://www.grantmeahigherlove.com/ ~ Voted “Best of Long Island” Psychic-Medium 2010 – 2013 Listen to internet radio with Grant a Higher Love on BlogTalkRadio . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . *Cindi is known as “The Romance Whisperer” because she communes with the dead to help the living get on with their lives. What will she tell you about your love life, your future, your past. One of your past lives? Will she connect with one of your loved ones on the other side?  Well, you’ll just have to be there to find out, now won’t you? I can guarantee you, you will not be disappointed! Hosted by Bridgette Nicolini of Reach For It Media, Inc. email me if you have any questions: bn@rfimedia.com or 631.271.1808

Peace.
Cindi

      This is the second time since December that young men terrified and terrorized our nation.  Still shell shocked and reeling from the heartless slayings at Newtown, our nation now has to process the events of this week’s Boston Massacre.  Our national nightmare started with the deadly explosions at the end of the Boston Marathon last Monday afternoon.  For the next three days, the fear of the unknown made for a restless and frightened nation, as we waited at the edge of our seats for some answers, and lived in dread of what other manmade disasters might still await us.  The much anticipated bloodshed continued on Thursday night with the shooting at MIT and the death of a young police officer, Sean Collier.  Early Friday morning the nearby Boston suburb of Watertown, with its usually sleepy streets, turned into a war zone with guns going off and explosive devises being thrown.  These events left one suspect, Tamerlan Tsarnaev, dead, and another on the lam.  The larger than life drama culminated Friday evening with the people of our nation glued to their television sets watching suspect No. 2, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the 19-year-old younger brother of Tamerlan, captured.

          What can any of us do in the wake of these two unspeakable tragedies?  We can learn to be emissaries of love.  Truly, what the world needs now is love, sweet love — agape love that is. Agape love is altruistic, unconditional love for humankind and all God’s creations.

          Agape love gives reverence to all things.  This is the kind of love that is spoken of in the traditional religious texts.  Agape love is kind, patient, tolerant, and nonjudgmental.  This is the kind of love that God has for all of us. 

          Agape love asks –not, “What you can do for me?” but “What can I do for you?”

          Agape love is a very egalitarian way of loving, for we are not supposed to find some people more lovable and worthy than others.  For example, in our Judeo-Christian culture, it seems perfectly acceptable to find Muslims unlovable.  In practicing Agape, we come to realize that the external differences are inconsequential.  All paths lead to God, and we come to love all human beings regardless of race, color, or creed.

          Throughout this long and agonizing week, we witnessed agape love in action, as people willingly rushed through the streets of Boston, helping victims of the bombings, giving little thought to the reality that they might well become victims themselves.  Our law enforcement officers acted bravely, without thought of their own safety, in efforts to protect others.  These are great acts of agape love, that we must give thanks for.

          Agape love asks that we love all humanity, and this implies that we must love our enemies as well.  This is never easy, and in many cases, never possible.  Yet, agape love is patient, so patient that it waits to win over our opponents, and it helps us to be tolerant, kind, nonjudgmental, merciful, and forgiving in the meantime.

          Let us all ask ourselves, “What act of agape love can I do today in the name of the Boston maimed, dead, and dying?”

Peace.
Cindi

          There are probably few things in life that pack a punch as devastating as the shock of finding out that your spouse has been cheating on you.  Who, what, where, when, and how are the burning questions the scorned ask and ask and then ask again… seemingly without end.

          The bright side of this dark night of the soul scenario is that many couples are able to not just get past the infidelity, but they’re able to learn and grow from it and in the end, their relationship is closer and better than ever before.  Others are not so lucky and the affair causes a rift too wide to cross, and a hole in the heart to deep to fill.

            In my practice as a relationship coach, the following three factors are crucial in determining which marriages can be saved and which ones go down faster than the Titanic: 1) The quality of the relationship prior to the infidelity. 2) The willingness of both partners to work on healing the relationship. 3) Their heartfelt desire to give their relationship a second chance by recommitting to it.

          Two ways of reacting to an affair that are sure to destroy a marriage are: 1) sweeping things under the carpet and 2) pouring salt on old wounds over and over.      
          There is no one size fits all fix for a marriage nuked by infidelity. The fallout and the friction from an affair can go on forever, if the situation is not handled well from the get-go.  Many factors have to be taken into consideration before coming up with a working strategy for any one particular couple.   Many questions have to be asked openly and answered honestly. What was the nature of the affair? How long was it going on?  Was this a onetime affair or is this person a serial cheater? What was the level of lies and deceptions that took place to cover up the affair in the first place?   What are the personality traits of the spouses?   Are there addictions involved?  Are both spouses willing to work things out?   Are they willing to do couples therapy?  Is individual therapy necessary as well?  Is the affair really over?  Does the cheating partner really intend to be faithful in the future?  Is the cheating partner sincerely sorry for the affair, or just sorry about getting caught? All these considerations and many others, depending upon the couples and circumstances involved, have to be addressed.

           Once these factors have weighed in, strategies for healing the relationship or ending it without drama and trauma must be quickly put into place; otherwise, the aftermath and backlash of the affair can give rise to the perfect storm, where no one within a hundred mile radius can or will escape the damages.

          After all is said and done, the way in which a couple communicates is probably the most crucial component of all.  Keep in mind, if there comes a point in which the slighted spouse crosses the line with over-the-top demands, rage issues, continual accusations, and borderline obsessively insane behavior, ultimately these behaviors will damage the relationship even more than the actual inciting incident — the affair.  As hurt and angry as the slighted spouse may feel; these feelings still do not give that person a license to be abusive.

        Remember that a marriage can be healed only if both partners are 100% on board; otherwise, you’re merely putting a band-aid on a carcinoma.  Once a couple has determined that they are willing to work on their marriage, then they can try putting the following five steps into play.

Step One

Refrain from airing your dirty laundry with everyone under the sun — to do so will only make cleaning up the mess that much harder, since everyone has an opinion, but not necessarily an intelligent one.  And, please, keep the children out of it!

 Step Two

 Talk honestly and openly about the affair.  Identify some underlying issues that may have contributed to the affair.

 Step Three

 If talking to each other and with a few trusted friends and family members isn’t enough, then get some couples counseling. During those sessions, it can be determined which partner or partners could use some additional individual therapy as well.

 Step Four

Schedule an affair with each other — doing fun things, romantic things, and by all means, begin to reconnect in the bedroom.

 Step Five

 Come to a place of forgiveness.  Let the past be the past.  Forgiveness means forgiving the person, but not the actions.  Once the relationship is back on track, the affair has to be put to rest.   The couple must recommit to their marriage, and to starting over on this new solid ground that the two of them have been working so hard to pave.

Cindi Sansone-Braff is a relationship coach, known as The Romance Whisperer, and the author of the spiritual, self-help book Grant Me a Higher Love: How to Go from the Relationship from Hell to One that’s Heaven Sent by Scaling The Ladder of Love.  Visit her web site at: www.grantmeahigherlove.com.  She gives free psychic and relationship advice on Thursday evenings, 7pm EST on www.blogtalkradio.com/higher-love.  The call-in number is: 646-929-0958.

Peace.
Cindi

Part II

Top Ten Reasons Why People Cheat

          There are many different reasons why people have affairs, and any of the below reasons, separately or in combination, can be the reason.

1) Taking Each other for Granted Affair

As time goes by, relationships can get stale.  Once a relationship reaches this point, everyone and everything else starts taking top priority.  There are so many demands placed on couples nowadays, and juggling jobs, childcare, and other family demands, can really take a toll on any relationship. Couples stop communicating, except about mundane things, such as: who put the garbage out, or did you feed the dog?  The relationship gets boring, and this is where the taking each other for granted thing becomes an everyday way of interacting.  Affectionate exchanges become a thing of the past.  These couples no longer caress each other, hold hands, hug, kiss, exchange lingering looks, or engage in the language of love with terms of endearment, romantic dinners, and just doing fun things together. Television, golf, the gym, the Internet, talking on the cell phone with friends and family, or just about any other activity under the sun seems more important than making love or making real conversation with each other. Couples may even stop having sex.  When things stop happening in the bedroom, it’s only a matter of time before sparks start flying somewhere else. Over the long haul, the lack of true intimacy between couples is one of the prime reasons one mate seeks comfort in the arms of another.

2) Sex for Sex Sake Affair

If couples are not engaging in an active and healthy sex life with each other, and, therefore, they are not keeping each other from the temptations of the world, there is always someone lurking out there in the shadows willing to do the dirty work. This kind of affair is more likely to occur if couples are guilty of taking each other for granted, and things have gotten pretty stagnant in the bedroom, as was already describe in the paragraph above. This type of an affair can also occur when someone feels the grass is always greener in somebody else’s backyard, or when one partner is in the midst of a mid-life crisis and needs to feel young, virile, and sexy again and seeks attention outside the marriage, perhaps finding validation in the arms of a much younger lover.  Players often engage in these affairs just for the hell of it, the novelty of it, or for the thrill and high they get from being naughty. Plain old boredom, too much idle time, unfulfilling work or hobbies, and too much stress and no healthy outlet for it can also lead to this kind of an affair.

3) The Tit for Tat Affair or Payback Affair 

These affairs take place when one mate tries to get even with the other for a past affair and has an almost obsessive need to even the score.  Sometimes affairs can be viewed as acts of independence or rebellions against over domineering spouses.  These kinds of affairs are committed for revenge sake, or to give someone a taste of his/her own medicine.  A payback affair can be an act of anger in response to many other kinds of betrayals, such as lying about money, or feeling that one partner is not pulling his/her share of responsibility around the house.

4) The Humbling Affair

Some people have a holier than thou attitude in which they say judgmental things such as, “I don’t know how anyone could do something like that?”  They judge their neighbors, friends, public personalities, and their own parents harshly, when they learn of an affair. The universe may well conspire to put these people in a compromising position in which they commit adultery.  This cosmic kick in the butt was meant to teach them to stop judging others. 

5) The Opportunity Knocked Affair

These are the so-called chance encounters that no one plans on, but somehow, they lead to a one night stand or the beginning of a long term affair.  This could happen on a business trip, at a bachelor or bachelorette party, on a boys’ or girls’ night out, or just about anywhere life leads someone. It could also happen from connecting or reconnecting with someone on a Social Media site, and what started out innocently enough, under certain circumstances, ends up in a full-blown affair.

          It is not only possible, but highly probable that a marriage could be fixed, if the reasons for the affair were of the above five varieties.  

          The following five affair types– not so much.

6) An Affair of the Heart

These are perhaps the most painful of all affairs that one can encounter.  This is more than just a fling or a flash in the pan affair.  This is a true love affair, which is both emotional and physical in nature. When the straying partner has fallen in love with someone else, this kind of scenario can be equally devastating to all parties involved.  The words, “I love you, but I am no longer in love with you,” are as painful to hear as to utter.

7) An Affair as a Side Effect of Addiction

Affairs that are symptomatic or reactions to sex addiction, drug abuse, or alcohol abuse are fairly common.  Addicts notoriously use their inability to control their impulses and falling off the wagon to justify their behaviors, and the enablers of the world go right along with this rationale.

 The Big Number Eight — The Swan Song Affair

These affairs are really a declaration of war, in which people are actually hoping to get caught, because they want a divorce, but lack the courage to put the cards on the table.

9) The Marriage by Default Affair

These affairs are inevitable because these marriages should never have come to fruition in the first place.  Examples of these types of marriages are: marrying because of pregnancy, pressure from parents, escape from parents, marrying a man or a woman to fit a plan, marrying on the rebound from a broken heart, walking down the aisle knowing that you weren’t in love with the person in the first place, a marriage of convenience for money or to get a green card, or an old school arranged marriage.

10) The Cake and Eat it, too Affair

In the past it was men who thought they could get away with this kind of behavior, but now some women, in the shadow of Sex and the City, truly believe that they can be married and have a little something on the side.  These people operate on the old, what you don’t know can’t hurt you principle.
These last five reasons for affairs can prove to be like Humpty Dumpty: all the king’s horses and all the king’s men, may not be able to put these marriage back together again.

Stayed tuned for Part 111 of this series: Life after an Affair: Strategies for Saving a Marriage.

Cindi Sansone-Braff is a relationship coach, known as The Romance Whisperer, and the author of the spiritual, self-help book Grant Me a Higher Love: How to Go from the Relationship from Hell to One that’s Heaven Sent by Scaling The Ladder of Love.  Visit her web site at: www.grantmeahigherlove.com.  She gives free psychic and relationship advice on Thursday evenings, 7pm EST on www.blogtalkradio.com/higher-love.  The call-in number is: 646-929-0958.

Peace.
Cindi

             Part One: Why Extramarital Affairs are on the Rise

          As a relationship coach, I often have couples who come to me because their marriages are falling apart after the discovery that one of the partners is having or has had an affair.        

          Let’s blast the myth that only bad people or people in bad relationships have affairs.  All kinds of people — from all walks of life have affairs — the rich, the poor, the famous, the infamous, and the everyday Joe and Josephine Shmoe commit adultery.

          Because of the clandestine nature of affairs, no one knows the exact percentages of people who have engaged in them. The first statistics began in the 1940’s and 1950’s with the Kinsey’s reports, and in those reports the findings were that by age 40, 50 percent of the men and 26 percent of women had engaged in an extramarital affair. Affair estimates today range anywhere from 50 to 70 percent for both sexes.  Let’s face it: the numbers are irrelevant, because we all know it happens a lot.

1) The Women’s Liberation Movement got women out of the house and into the workforce in record numbers, and this is a contributing factor in the rise in the number of affairs happening in the workplace.
2) The Sexual Revolution fueled by the advent of the birth control pill changed the mores of our modern world and those changes spilled onto all avenues of life, including marriage.
3) No fault divorce, and the slackening of the social stigma divorce carried with it, makes the fear of getting caught and the consequences this action carried with it much less catastrophic than in the past.
4)  Technological Advances, such as: cell phones, social media, chat rooms, emails, text messaging, Internet dating sites, and Internet interactive porn sites have made the ease and availability of connecting and reconnecting with people an easy thing to do. 

5) Television and movies with their glamorization of affairs, and of course, the everyday disclosure of public figures — from presidents to princesses carrying on affairs, fuels our curiosity and makes us wonder, am I missing out on something?

  Stay tuned for Part II, when we will examine the 8 Top Reasons Why People Stray.

Peace.
Cindi

Peace.
Cindi

Love is in the Air

Soul Mates is a term that is thrown around a lot lately, leaving couples to wonder, are you my Soul mate?  Others just wonder, what in the world is a Soul Mate?

Simply put, romantic Soul Mates are two people who love each with their entire  hearts, souls, minds, and bodies, and who commit to each other and who also commit to healing.

Finding a Soul Mate is one thing, but maintaining a Soul Mate relationship is where most of us fall short.  Try answering the following six questions as honestly as you can. 

1.  Do you and your partner love each other with your hearts?  Loving from your heart means loving your mate unconditionally, passionately, and patiently. You both know how to comfort each other in times of need, and you provide a safe space for each other to confess your deepest desires and most dreaded fears.  You listen to each other with an open heart and non-judgmental ears. You forgive each other your trespasses and honestly try not to commit those same sins again.
2.  Do you and your partner love each other with your souls?  Loving from the soul means that you bring out the best in each other (most of the time), and that your love allows room for the two of you to grow and evolve in the context of the relationship.  Loving from the soul allows both of you to see the higher purpose in your relationship. You enjoy doing soulful things together, such as listening to music, taking romantic walks, or enjoying the beauty of nature. You also enjoy a good laugh together, which is one of the most soulful experiences in the universe.
3. Do you and your partner love each other with your minds? This means that you communicate well and have similar values and goals.  You can stimulate and challenge each other intellectually. Soul Mates are first and foremost the best of friends to each other.
4.  Do you love each other with your bodies? This means that you are passionate about your lovemaking and that you are affectionate to each other in and out of the bedroom.
5.  Do you treat each other as two equals?  No one is the boss or mommy or daddy to the other who won’t grow up.
6.  Are you both committed to healing your issues?  You won’t be able to maintain Soul Mate love over the long haul if either one of you can’t heal your childhood wounds, or cure your addictions. 
Our unhealed issues eventually corrode the best of relationships, so owning and carrying your own baggage is paramount in your quest to maintain a higher love.

If you answered the above questions with a resounding “yes,” then you have not only  found yourself a Soul Mate, but you are maintaining that God-given, healthy, healing relationship. Get out the bubbly.  Soul Mate love is as good as it gets!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peace.
Cindi

Angel Gabriel, public domain image

An associated press poll conducted in 2011 revealed that almost 8 out of 10 Americans believe in angels, and many of these same people believe that they have had actual angelic encounters, or that they have been guided, protected, or helped by an angelic being.

My favorite angel (sounds like a sitcom title) is the Archangel Gabriel, whose name means “The Strength of God.”   This angel of the Lord played an important role in three of the world’s major religions: Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, having been sent down to earth to reveal to several prophets their sacred obligations and divine missions.  Gabriel is seen as the master of courage in Jewish lore, and may well have been the angel who wrestled with Jacob.  Another Gabriel sighting occurred in the old testament when this Messenger of the Lord appeared before the prophet Daniel to help him understand the meaning and messages in his prophetic visions.  In the new testament, Gabriel appeared to Zechariah to foretell of the birth of John the Baptist, and to Mary to tell her of the birth of Jesus.  It was none other than Gabriel who appeared before the prophet, Mohammed, to reveal the Qur’an.

In our own modern world, we can call on Gabriel to inspire and motivate us to become better communicators. When we are wrestling with a tough decision, we can ask Gabriel to guide us down the right path.  We can call upon Gabriel to help us find the courage to express our truths, either through art, writing, acting, or any other creative endeavor, or to reveal to us how we can learn to speak our truth with well-chosen words that others will listen to with not just their ears and minds, but with their hearts and souls as well.

I have long felt that a statue of this majestic angel blowing the trumpet of truth, triumph, and of new beginnings should grace the World Trade Center site.  This angelic presence would be a concrete  reminder to all people, of all faiths, who set foot upon that hallowed ground that there is nothing but one humankind on earth and nothing but one God and his dominion above.  

Peace.
Cindi

http://long-island.newsday.com/

Peace.
Cindi